To embrace a Muslim

What I am going to mention next I do so because it is a part of the canvas of what is happening here and in the world and not because I give any connection in any way to the shooter as I have deliberately not mentioned his name or his motives in this blog as he does not deserve mention or acknowledgement.  I think we all know he was a sick and disturbed individual who tried to be a martyr for a cause I am not even convinced he embraced.

As we made our way around the band shell to the other side, on a small hill, we passed by a group of people from the APA (association of Pakistani Americans of Central Florida) and a few other Muslim groups like APPNA (Association of Physicians of Pakistani-descent North America).  They were sitting in the grass surrounded by signs denouncing the violence and saying that Muslims were peaceful and that they stood with all of us for love. I thought that was quite brave of them to be there and I liked that they even had a rainbow flag sign. I was taking a photo and 2 of the women turned toward me and smiled and waved and held their signs up for me.  I thought how beautiful their smiles were and how sincere they looked.  I wanted to hug them but I had never done that crazy stuff before…ask a stranger for a hug. 

I am actually pretty shy when it comes to speaking.  This was evident when we were at the Dr. Phillips memorial and a man named Matt asked me to comment on my thoughts to help out with an ad for One Orlando (I believe) that he was working on.  He said I could just do audio (as I was NOT an on-camera kind of gal).  I get terrified to even speak even though I clearly have an opinion.  My friend Leslie suggested I simply read my Facebook post from earlier in the day and I agreed to that but even then my reading was rough.  I don’t know why I have this block when it comes to public speaking.  It makes me want to throw up.  Total panic. But I pushed through that.  Then when my head was clear I regretted not reading it better and then I regretted not reading the previous post (as I felt it would have been more appropriate for what he had wanted) but my thought process was clouded by panic.  Anyway…so there I was, wanting to express emotions to a group of strangers and the anxiety over it got the better of me and all I could do was thank them for the photo op. 

But later that night I would have the opportunity for a redo and I stepped up as expressed in my Facebook post afterward…

”Last night as we approached the bandstand at the vigil we passed a small area where people were sitting in the grass with signs from the Muslim community denouncing violence and extremism and standing with Orlando in support and unity. As I was taking a picture two of the beautiful ladies turned around and smiled at me. I thanked them for the photo op and wandered off.

But all night long I watched them from my small spot in the crowd and I thought how difficult it must be to feel the unwarranted weight of judgment upon you for the twisted and abhorrent behavior of others, how hard it must be to feel the eyes of blame on you for acts you did not commit. I considered what it must feel like to defend an entire religion to people who are often too ignorant to know and too self-absorbed to even want to listen. I thought how brave and bold they were to do the one thing that all Muslims need to do in this climate of fear…stand up and speak out and denounce those who don’t fairly represent them.

Then I thought how I would feel if I was judged by society on the deplorable actions of radical “Christians”. I considered how much people need to listen and learn and open their hearts and minds to each other’s fears and realize we are all humans and although by a different name most of us seek the same thing…love, peace, understanding and acceptance.

So after the vigil I went over to the group and quietly expressed my thoughts to them “I have been thinking about you all night and just wanted to hug you and tell you how brave you all are and how appreciated it is that you are here standing up for love with us.” They all started hugging me and then my friends joined in and soon we were all talking and hugging. That simple gesture opened a dialogue of understanding and growth for all of us.

For a while now I have tried to steer away from presenting my positions in this forum but after last night I can see very clearly that my voice deserves to be heard just as much as those who hate. Possibly more so. Because I believe that most people are a lot like me and because the voice of the minority is all that is heard when the good and decent people in this world fail to speak. Hatred wins when the voices of love are silent. My voice will speak loud and clear for LOVE…for ALL…ALWAYS."

To say I was very affected by that exchange would be an understatement.  Don’t get me wrong.  I have always believed that it is wrong to lump in all people of a religion with a few bad apples.  I have witnessed that with Christianity as well.  But the truth is that I don’t know many Muslims and although I have longed to sit and talk with someone of the Muslim faith and really hear their side of things I have not had that opportunity.  I wish I did so I could speak more factually on the topic and defend my position better but also for my own understanding. But inside my heart where I sort out right from wrong I know that at the very least I need more knowledge to make a judgment and I refuse to believe that all Muslims should be held to account for the actions of people who are nothing more than cowards and murderers. 

My husband has read many of the religious works of the world and is more the scholar than I am but from our general conversations we have concluded that the radical choices made by individuals seem to be based on poor interpretations of ancient text by very disturbed individuals (this applies to ALL religious zealots not just Muslims).  For me and what I know of God, whoever you think he/she may be, in most of the religions of the world the higher power is loving and peaceful and that is always the message to the masses.  The rest of the mess is all in the details and I believe that Muslims like Christians often gravitate toward what they have been taught is right and often they twist and turn what they deem divine into a sort of support for their cause.  But based on interpretation, the same passages that offer some a path to peace and enlightenment tend to usher others toward hatred and even, sadly to violence.  On a side note this is possibly why I have distanced myself from religion as an institution in my adulthood and consider myself more “spiritual” than “religious”. I choose to think for myself too much.

When people act like Muslims are the only ones misinterpreting biblical texts inappropriately I would like to refer you to the other elephant in the room which has been brought to light in the wake of this tragedy…the LGBTQ community.  I have long been an advocate for the LGBTQ community LONG before that was even a thing.  And anyone who knows me knows that.  I have watched as people have judged and slandered and belittled and ravaged the LGBTQ community all under the banner of their supposed “religious” beliefs.  And yes this includes Muslims AND Christians.  Which is the point I am making here.  Love is love… and that is love of a man to a man, a friend to a friend, a Christian to a Muslim. And LOVE and tolerance is what your religion should be preaching always.  And if it isn’t then maybe it’s not a religion you want to be a part of.  I, for one, find immense beauty in ALL the religions of the world.  But not the actual “religion” part (by that I mean all the blather and jibberish of details that no one can really confirm as fact…the very things that separate each religion from itself).  I prefer the parts that bind us together, the parts where people seek a connection with something or someone outside the bounds of this earthy plane.  So for me it is a very easy consideration to be able to sit down and listen to someone’s perspective.  If more people listened instead of talking this world would be a better place.

But anyway.  Off my soap box…for now.  I mean I never really step off that thing…just occasionally sit down for a while. LOL