The Orlando Vigil

Right before the speakers took the stage a gentle whisper started to rise up from the crowd…a rainbow…look a rainbow!  Sure enough there was a rainbow settling magnificently above the trees on the far side of the lake overlaying the darkened sky.  My view was blocked slightly by the tree branches over my head so I moved for a better angle but by then the rainbow was softly fading and my camera was not cooperating.  Then, as if to cleanse and anoint us all with the tears of angels, a soft and gentle rain started to brush over the lake like a caress from the heavens before moving away and leaving the last bit of the day’s sunlight to illuminate the stage. 

The speakers took the stage and one by one talked about the resiliency of the community, the great loss we had suffered.  There were songs and heartfelt speeches and moments of the entire crowd chanting “Peace, love, pulse” or "love is love is love is love is love". 

There was the reading of the victims’ names one by one, the lighting of the candles, the moment of silence.  All poignant and emotional in their own.  I think for me the most powerful moment and one I am glad I caught a small snip of video on was the song “Rise Up” being sung as the crowd raised their candles in honor and in unity.  “I’ll rise unafraid… I’ll rise up in spite of the ache…” Beautiful.  Makes me cry just remembering it. To look around you and see nothing but a sea of human beings all holding candles and knowing that as far as the eye can see there were more and more people all doing the same thing…it was indescribable. Even lighting the candles was a meaningful experience as I insisted we light the candles from other candles as one light should spread to another.  

I also had my battery powered candle which although not as meaningful in its lighting as the latter, still powerful in its rainbow colored lights (it also made it easier to hold and take pictures). And it was adorned with the powerful message of strength. 

One of the things I found most beautiful about the entire vigil was the absolute pure and open love.  All around me people were holding each other, holding hands, embracing, sharing with each other, offering kindness.  Not in a sexual way, in a supportive way. Not just couples but friends and family and strangers all embracing and sharing. There were 50,000 people gathered at that lake all with one purpose.  All with one heart.  As the sun set the candles all around the lake (and if you have ever been to Lake Eola it is a HUGE lake) illuminated the horizon with the light of love.  And the view only got better as the darkness fell and the rainbow colored fountain in the lake in unison with the round ripe moon overhead combined with those 50,000 lights of love to bring daylight to the darkness.  Which is also poetically exactly what we were doing there…bringing our blinding light to this one terrible moment of darkness in our community. 

Another thing I loved was watching the LGBTQ community be exactly who they are openly and freely with no judgment. As we lit our candles I glanced over at a lesbian couple next to us.  One of the girls had her arms around the other and they were holding hands gently and reassuringly.  Exactly how I would have done with my husband (had he been there). I have never been blessed to see such an open outpouring of love in general like I did at this event and certainly not the affection of the LGBTQ community within the bounds of this country.  And that is sad.  Other countries are so much more open than we are here.  And not just with the gay community but with love and affection as a whole.  I wish it could be that way every day here.  I hope that someday it is not even a moment’s consideration to see a gay couple holding hands on the street.  That it just is.  As it is with all love.

Another beautiful twist to this whole experience is that instead of any hate, I have seen such an outpouring of support for the LGBTQ community.  At first I rolled my internal eyes at seeing some of those (including political figures) offering their condolences and platitudes to the community that they fought so hard against in recent months to limit rights.  And now suddenly they were claiming to stand “with” them.  It seemed strange to push someone down with one hand then offer support with the other. But the more I looked around the more I see what has inadvertently come from such a terrible tragedy as a moment when possibly some people took a moment to consider their views in a way they had not before.  Are some of them insincere and offering simply what is viewed as politically correct?  Absolutely.  But I want so much to believe that from the ashes of this horrendous tragedy has risen a beautiful rainbow colored phoenix and in the end it has strengthened the LGBTQ community and rallied its support in ways that no one could have imagined.  It has offered gifts of unimaginable value that will be with this and other communities in the future. 

   

It has also made me quite aware of what an amazing community I am a part of.  Orlando is like an oasis of love and support for the LGBTQ community.  It is a diverse and dynamic city among a mostly backward and bigoted state.  It is a city that had the backbone to support such an amazing event because of its people.  Because love and acceptance seeks the same and it is found here.  But the absolutely beautiful part of this experience for me was not just that our city was at the heart of the tragedy and also at the heart of the recovery but that the veins pour our blood out to the entire world.  It allows us to truly set the “pulse” of all of humanity.  It allows us to be the example to the world on how to stand against hatred, how to grieve and love in unity.  Orlando Strong means so much more than just words.